Is work the centre of your world?
Dianne Gibert and I had lunch on Sunday and, for the first time in almost 5 years, we hardly spoke about work or the business despite the fact that for the past 15 months we are now working together on Business Monitor.
This was great for others at lunch, as we usually drive them to point of saying STOP – politely of course! That evening, as I did my journalling, I asked myself why this lunch was different to any other we had had over almost 25 years of friendship and working together.
JOURNAL Nov 2024: As I think about today and the wonderful lunch we enjoyed I realised a number of things have changed and there has been a real shift in my world of work. Despite the fact I am back working, albeit only two days a week, and am challenged by how much things have changed and how much I have to learn, it is not consuming my every waking thought as it once did. Also, because Dianne and I are working together in a business – not as client and supplier – we probably don’t need to use our social contact time to discuss business like we used to. It was over a lunch such as this that Business Monitor became a vision – in hindsight, we were so rude that day as we left everyone else to go and draw up our ideas!
As I wrote my journal entry, I recognised I have changed – a life-threatening diagnosis will do that!
In November 2019 my world turned upside down when I fell apart at an event I was speaking at, in front of an audience of hundreds. What was once something I did with no notes and supreme confidence and trust in myself did not happen and boy did I tumble.
In May of that year (pre COVID) I was diagnosed with chronic heart failure caused by a virus., not stress, not overwork - just a bug I didn’t even know I had. No symptoms, just a well-timed visit to the doctor for a flu shot that saw me rushed to hospital with a heart that was failing and a severely reduced life expectancy. I told few people as I was so annoyed and ashamed of my inability to be in control.
I refused to accept the life expectancy forecast, the diagnosis I couldn’t deny. I continued to work in hospital and, as many of my team were WFH, no-one really knew what was happening, so I just kept on keeping on. In the end I lost the plot, and at that event, I made a snap decision that I couldn’t continue and walked away from something I loved so much. Then COVID hit. I was even angrier now as I could have kept working as meetings, travel etc were all closed off, but I had made my decision and now I had to live with the result.
What the hell was I going to do with my time was the obvious question. All my life I have loved the work I was doing and didn’t acknowledge how much of my life centred around it from a social, travel and education perspective.
JOURNAL February 2020: Let’s set some goals to keep you motivated (said the counsellor). OK, here goes (said me). Form a walking group (the only exercise I could do) and walk virtually around Australia raising money for charity during COVID, be alive to see my grandson start primary school, attend my granddaughter’s Year 6 graduation, celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary. If COVID shutdowns end do a road trip around Australia , travel to Vietnam and honour my father -in-law’s service there, learn to swim butterfly properly, visit the Inuit in Lapland, learn to play golf and master Mahjong!
While writing this I realised my story provides a backdrop for some of the questions for the psychosocial health discussions that Dianne and I have presented over the month of October and why I found the work we have done with clients in this space so challenging.
As a Managing Director I was in denial that I was in a state of severe mental collapse. I did not seek counselling or support until after I resigned as I believed I was in control, and I did not have a pathway or a strategy in place - in the business or personally. Family close to me raised red flags but I was so far in denial I was listening.
I was that red outlier on the Managing Psychosocial Risk diagram we use in our presentations. I was well-practiced in hiding what was going on, even to myself.
JOURNAL: November 2024. So why was today’s lunch different? Everyone discussed their travel plans for the next 12 months – the fact I have travel plans is a change. Dianne’s are always far more adventurous than mine but nevertheless exciting to compare. We discussed the importance of friendships and relationships and what we miss out on when we let work take over. We lamented the political and economic challenges that we see in the world today. Then the inevitable wellness discussions including the difference it makes when you find health practitioners you believe in and can trust. We laughed at my feeble attempts at fitness activities and the excuses I make to avoid them. Nothing has changed. And applauded Dianne’s absolute commitment to her own fitness and wellbeing. We acknowledged how great it is that we now have the opportunity to work together on Business Monitor, a process we have passionately believed in for more than 25 years, and this is a positive outcome from my ongoing health situation.
So, if you are the leader in your business – do you have a strategy for who is looking out for your mental wellbeing. Where do you seek support if you need it and would you? Do you know how to even recognise you may need support?
Check out our Psychosocial Risk Assessment podcast and webinar and book an assessment to review your company’s psychosocial risk management today.
I wish I had.
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